LAST MEMORY....ISNIN 26 NOVEMBER 2012

Genap seminggu hari ini abah pergi meninggalkan kami semua. Pergi yang takkan kembali. Pergi yang tiada galang gantinya. Patah yang pasti takkan tumbuh kembali. Perginya bawa tawa kami. Perginya bawa khabar duga yang berpanjangan. Laranya bawa tandus menggersangkan jiwa. Pasrahnya aku menghadapi episod baru dalam hidup. Sukarnya menghapus air mata dan duka ini. Betapa saat ini aku sukar menggarap kata mengungkai segala yang tersirat dihati.

AL-FATIHAH buat abah setiap saatku. Andai jiwa rasa sarat dengan hiba....itu saja yang mampu aku lakukan tika ini.

Buat ADIK-ADIKKU tabahlah kalian, kuatkan semangat. Hidup harus diteruskan jua. Sepahit manapun kaki harus melangkah jangan sampai tersungkur. Buanglah sugul di wajah tika kalian menghadapi MAK. Jangan sampai hati tuanya menangis lagi. Belajar dari kehilangan ini...

19 November 2012 (Isnin)....My day start as usual. But today i need go to school because my duty start today. On the way...my heart feel someting...i think about my father. Yesterday my phone missing. So...i lost contact with everyone. When i reach in school,quickly i call my sister (k.ita) to inform her about my phone.. so...if anyting happend to my father she can call me at school. After i call her, a few minute later she called me back and asked me go to hospital AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. My tears running out without stop. I pray to Allah swt to give me a chance to see my father. But...everyting is done from Allah swt. It is to fast...everyting still in my mind.

Luluhnya hati saat aku lihat kain menutupi seluruh jasad abah. Aku tahu...bermula saat itu aku kehilangannya. Tiada lagi wajah tua abah untuk ku tatapi. Abah pergi ketika usianya 65 tahun. Seusia Rasulullah saw.

NO MATTER HOW TOUGH IT IS...BY HOOK OR BY CROOK...I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE NEW CHAPTER OF MY LIFE...

AL-FATIHAH BUAT ARWAH ABAH...

(KHAIERI BIN HAMDAN-SITI ROGAYAH)

MY TEARS AND SADNESS

SUNDAY (18 NOVEMBER 2012)....4 days and 3 nights my father in HTAR. Today my father condition become weak. This morning the doctor told my sister (kak Ita), my father brain not functional n he is in coma. Start on Thursday until today I saw his progress going down. I feel like i will loose him for anytime...

ALLAH SWT lebih maha mengetahui....berhadapan dgn kenyataan yang pasti sgt pahit. Andai kehilangan yang harus dihadapi...aku pasrah. Kehilangan yang tiada galang gantinya. Sepahit mana jua pun harus ditelan andai itu dugaan Allah buat kami sekeluarga. Menghadapi abah ketika ini dalam keadaan koma amat memilukan hati. Ada sesal dan terkilan jauh menghuni didasar hati.  Belajar untuk tidak menangis....tapi hati penuh dengan rasa yang sukar untuk digarapkan dengan kata-kata. Sekuat mana pun aku mengajar hati untuk tidak menangis aku tetap jua rebah...

ABAH...Perkataan ini mampu membuat dunia ku kelam seketika. Mampu membuat jiwaku lara. Aku tidak mampu membohongi hati andai perginye tidak mampu mengubat rasa rindu bertahun.

PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE

14 November 2012...Rabu.
Today my day starts as usual....As a mother n a wife always busy with housework. Cooking, cleaning n everyting must done before i start my part time bisnes. Today i know i will busy until evening because i need to see somebody to help one of my group before the closing date in 18 November.

My work finish n done very smoothly. Thanks to Allah to make my life n job easy today. But Allah swt yg menentukan segalanye. Dia senangkan kerja yang aku lakukan bersama group hari ini tp ade dugaan yg lebih besar untuk ku.

In the evening....one of my sister send sms ' abah masuk hospital Sg.Buluh'. When i read...in my mind already knows what happend to my father. Because my father had hipertension n another one more sicknes. After solat maghrib i n my husband straight away go to Sg. Buluh Hospital.  I saw my brother in law (abg zainal) n my sister (kak Gee) already there. I asked them about my father situasion...

'abah nk buat ct scan'....One of my sister (Rina) told me after she come out from the room. A few minute later we go inside emergency room. My father under control n i know he's okey because he can talk when i asked my father something about 'durian'. We waited outside when my father did the scan. Result from ct scan is okey. Nothing to worry. Sg.Buluh hospital send back my father to Tg.Karang hospital on that night. I know surely my father must stay in the wad for 1 or 2 days for obseversition.

Next morning....Thursday. I had another shocks because my father not admitted in the wad. Now my heart feel something wrong will be happend. But i throw far away to make my feel better. I told kak Gee if i go to her house it's my be take a time. Because her house n my house is to far. My sister says abg zainal go out.  Few minute later she call me back n says abg zainal will send my father to HTAR. So i said ok... but i n my husband wait them in emergency area.

WHEN I SAW MY FATHER I FEEL VERY SAD BECAUSE HE CAN'T TALK AT ALL JUST MUMBLING AND HE UNSTABEL...